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No Need for the Mayflower to Visit “The Land Unknown” Tonight! Greetings, everyone! Couldn’t join you last week because I was cruising in the Bahamas, where they don’t have Me. TV, and Internet access prices were ridiculous. So it was a 1. 00% vacation to rest and relax. But I’m back and see that Sven has given me a juicy feature tonight for a slew of LAND UNKNOWN jokes of all kinds! What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?“Try Sara’s Tops” Why are dinosaurs no longer around?
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Because their eggs stink Why did the dinosaur cross the road? The chicken hadn’t evolved yet. Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 1. Sir. What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
Doyouthinkhesawus What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile Is it true that a dinosaur won’t attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it. And what else do you find in a prehistoric jungle? All kinds of primates, of course, and of course that means MONKEY JOKES!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey What’s black and dangerous and lives in a tree? A monkey with a machine gun Did you hear about the awful jungle party? Somebody forgot to bring the chimps and dip And last but certainly not least, this week’s GBTD (Guy Behind The Door) contribution: One Saturday night, a man and his pet monkey walk into a bar. They’re ready for a big night of partying.
They start off slowly, watching Svengoolie, drinking beer and eating peanuts. As the night goes on, they move to mixed drinks, and then shots, one after the other. Finally, the movie is over, it’s much later, and the bartender yells “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me. Suddenly, the monkey falls over dead! The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a monkey.” See you at the movies!
- The Urban Dictionary Mug. One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.
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